you

i would like to ask you out

we’ll go on a hot date downtown

& eat at a popular restaurant

& it’ll be crowded & loud

& we won't be able hear one another speak

our waiter's name will sound like “humphrey”

& you will not enjoy the date at all

you will text someone else throughout

& we'll walk home through a park

& we'll pass a retarded person

& we'll go back to mine for a drink

& you'll watch me scratch

& we will watch cheers on dvd

all 11 seasons

all 270 episodes

you'll think the date was a disaster

& you won't return any of my calls

& later i will hear from someone

who heard from someone else

that you moved to kansas city