the dude who was a surfer

was a tragic galvanizing douche

he surfed on every continent

he didn't believe in karma

one day he caught a 10-foot peeler

& his board washed over the reef

they found his body a week later

face down in a pile of fish eggs

they said he had shat his wetsuit

& his mother filed a lawsuit

she was a sassy puerto rican

who wore too much lipstick