karen o and the kids sing indie music for the dr suess demographic

Where the Wild Things Are Soundtrack

im in new jersey. i am in a room full of computers with people i don't understand. i don't belong in this room. i don't belong in new jersey. outside the window there are seventy canadian geese shitting on a lawn. across the street there is a xxx video shop with a pink awning that says, "adult (something i cannot read)" then "smokeshop." a mini bus picked me up on madison avenue and dropped me off here. im not aloud to drink coffee right now. i have to use the restroom but i'm not going to ask anyone where it is because i don't want to talk to people. this is going no where. i'm going no where. this is called a 'business continuity exercise.'



have you ever had bikini sex?
try it today at thieves jargon.
thieves jargon is one of my favorite places to wait for cancer.
i have a mental imagine of myself thirty years from now hooked to a dialysis machine reading thieves jargon and form rejections from smokelong quarterly.
madonna songs are playing from a radio somewhere.
something degenarative is happening inside my colon.
this is inevitable.

i have more swag in volume III of the catalonian review - it's part of a larger work teetering on the border of novella and novel. it's about 25K words right now and reads like a less nihilistic/less grammatically-erroneous version of less than zero - minus the drug abuse and male prostitution, written by someone eight years older with a better taste in music and a comparably toned physique. i don't know what that means. i don't think people will want to read 25K words of this under any circumstances. and i know this. so it's okay.

for some reason i am feeling disembodied again today
i have been chasing starburst jelly beans with coffee since 8:30 am to cure a hangover i think is more imaginary than real
there is more sugar and caffeine in my blood vessels right now than there is blood
it has a vaguely enlivening effect but i think i will experience several successive fits of paranoia in about fifteen minutes
i will think about my cardiac muscles seizing epileptically
and destroy the important parts of my brain in an indirect way
something just happened in the region of my appendix
that made me think of a jfk-like assassination
i think about getting older and think 'fuck'
i think about being 26 and think 'fuck'
i wish i would have studied something different in college because i would be an orthopedic surgeon right now
or a portuguese translator for a fortune 500 company
but it seems like i will still have the same person in my head, naked, looking around the inside of my skull with an angry facial expression
waiting for a person to say something to him
so he can tell the person they're a bullshit type of person

no one is reading this
people in boston used to read this
people in california used to read this
i think these people are extinct due to the effects of global warming
i think about the weather in california and think 'fuck'
mark leyner lives in California
mark leyner is bullshit
if mark leyner had a blog it would be called 'mark leyner's blog of complete bullshit'
the naked person in my head is telling me to stop everything i'm doing
and buy a starbucks
and watch vh1
for the rest of my life

damn. brandi wells has a piece @ pank soooooo dirty i had to shower after i read it…

i am bored today. i am going to colorado today because i'm bored. i think that - while in colorado - i will be less bored for a little while. then i will be bored again. then i will leave colorado and arrive back in new york city and feel something like "refreshed" and i will tell people colorado was very "refreshing" and i will attempt to make a "refreshing" face and they will tell me things relating to their desire to visit a refreshing place like colorado and i will say "yeah" or "i know" and they will not really be listening to me because they will be thinking about buying their children's school supplies because it's that time of year apparently and i will become bored again and i will try not to care and i will try to avoid my own boredom by treating it with fast food and alcohol or something while vaguely contemplating the Cartesian subject of self over and over.

here is a picture of colorado at what i consider to be a "refreshing" moment:



jason jordan has some magic up @ a thousand faces.

dj berndt says nice things about me and the things i write while fighting the idea of myself.

dj runs PANGUR BAN PARTY which is running greg santos' thinking things through. so read that.

also - blake butler's scorch atlas released yesterday. i think i might buy it and read it and try to make sense of it.

bye.

christoph rehage walked from china to germany. that is a long distance. slush pile magazine asks him why. watch christoph’s hair-growing-walk-from-china-to-germany music video.

The Longest Way 1.0 - one year walk/beard grow time lapse from Christoph Rehage on Vimeo.

dispatch eleven has been read 357 times since 1 September 2009.

i really like this story by dfw.

i went camping last weekend and broke the law by (1) camping without a permit and (2) starting a fire in a national park. evidence below:





apologies to mother nature.

dispatch litareview #11 has been read 271 times.

facebook can/will ruin your relationships.

list of favored literary sites which have re-opened to submissions:
monday night
wigleaf
one story
phoebe
stickman review, the
agni. ha.

happy labor day.

new story in emprise review #10. the whole issue looks pretty good with the names of people i recognize. i wonder if these people recognize my name and if they don't, i wonder if they'll at least think, "i think i might recognize adam moorad maybe" - "parable" is here.

i just walked over to the xerox machine in my office. i looked at it and thought about vomiting. when i saw paper shooting out of it, i thought, "this is how a xerox machine ejaculates" then i thought about making 1000 copies of a blank piece of paper to give the xeroz machine a really long orgasm - then people started walking around me so i decided to wait a while...

my story @ dispatch litareview #11 has officially been "read" 103 times since it has gone live. i am pretty certain that number reflects how many views, opposed to actual reads. whatever.

todd dills is doing mischievous things in my old stomping ground of nashville, tn

jason jordan's Powering the Devil's Circus: Redux and Cloud and Other Stories are lurking and will release this december just in time for xmas courtesy of six gallery press. yeehaw.

ravi mangla has a pirate-oriented piece in the storyglossia #35, to which i'm partial.

new story @ dispatch litareview. p.h. madore did a fine job putting it together. thank you p.h.m. for your excellent work and for bestowing upon me the title, "Most likely to get lost in thoughts of roadside bombs whilst watching roommate play weird video games."

read "oikos" here. try to have fun.

here is a picture of a buffalo by christy call. read her blog and see her make an exciting face behind the wheel of a moving vehicle.