for some reason i am feeling disembodied again today
i have been chasing starburst jelly beans with coffee since 8:30 am to cure a hangover i think is more imaginary than real
there is more sugar and caffeine in my blood vessels right now than there is blood
it has a vaguely enlivening effect but i think i will experience several successive fits of paranoia in about fifteen minutes
i will think about my cardiac muscles seizing epileptically
and destroy the important parts of my brain in an indirect way
something just happened in the region of my appendix
that made me think of a jfk-like assassination
i think about getting older and think 'fuck'
i think about being 26 and think 'fuck'
i wish i would have studied something different in college because i would be an orthopedic surgeon right now
or a portuguese translator for a fortune 500 company
but it seems like i will still have the same person in my head, naked, looking around the inside of my skull with an angry facial expression
waiting for a person to say something to him
so he can tell the person they're a bullshit type of person
no one is reading this
people in boston used to read this
people in california used to read this
i think these people are extinct due to the effects of global warming
i think about the weather in california and think 'fuck'
mark leyner lives in California
mark leyner is bullshit
if mark leyner had a blog it would be called 'mark leyner's blog of complete bullshit'
the naked person in my head is telling me to stop everything i'm doing
and buy a starbucks
and watch vh1
for the rest of my life