The Off-Gridder from Yardena Schwartz on Vimeo.

this short film is my favorite thing right now.

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15 celebrity rumors:

62. john stamos tried out for the vikings

63. bruce willis gargles viles of strychnine

64. shaquille o'neal is afraid of heights

65. clint eastwood collects asian antiques

66. tara reid screws minor league pitchers

67. juels verne had a rapture phobia

68. ellen degeneres was hooked on dope

69. chelsea clinton has a club foot

70. jay cutler plays the two-bit fiddle

71. megan fox had a stillborn baby in cancun

72. nick cage's real name is nolan dolan

73. steven spielburg lives in a cabin on a lake

74. haley joel osment turned thirty-seven

75. oprah reduced her heart attack risk by 30%

76. tyrese was conceived in a kmart dressing room

nativity circa 1980something

25 celebrity rumors:

36. luke perry hates sweating

37. george michael has stretch-marks

38. bruce hornsby shot tupac

39. paula cole caught rabies from a beaver

40. shirley temple [censored]

41. jack black is a certified wet-nurse

42. kathy griffin polyurethanes her checkles

43. ryan phillippe claims he's a kennedy

44. the rock has gout & alopecia

45. val kilmer is an icelandic citizen

46. tony hawke played drums in hoobastank

48. snookie is barren

49. the baldwin brothers [censored]

50. bonnie raitt dated michael eisner

51. jason bateman shops at jcpenny

52. sarah michelle gellar is a blackbelt

53. steve urkel contracted lyme disease

54. john denver married a sherpa queen

55. dustin hoffman is related to thomas edison

56. ben affleck has west nile

57. the kardashians can't swim

58. jenny mccarthy lost her sex drive

59. ke$ha waterboarded her mother's tabby

60. hugh jackman has dyslexia

61. vince vaughn can pirouette 720 degrees

the new nano fiction is available. i must say, the issue is stacked folks: Lauri Anderson, Andrew Bales, Janee Baugher, Lena Bertone , Andrew E. Colarusso, Michael Crane, Jaydn DeWald, Mary Beth Ferda, Hafizah Geter, Amanda Goldblatt, Alina Gregorian, Bryan Grosnick, Bradley Harrison, Annie Hartnett, Ben Merriman, Kristine Heiney, Kelley Irmen, Todd Kaneko, Andrea Kneeland, Molly Laich, Rachel Levy, Paul Lisicky, Michael K. Meyers, Jen Michalski, Miguel Morales, Thomas O’Connell, Brian Oliu, Michael Powers, Laurence Pritchard, Adeena Reitberger, Anji Reyner, Lehua M. Taitano, Vallie Lynn Watson, & Brandi Wells. me too.

you need to buy. it will feel good. feel good.

seems interesting

12 celebrity rumors:

24. harrison ford wears a retainer at night

25. celine dion is an accomplished sou chef

26. frank sinatra spread bedbugs in hoboken

27. aaron neville had his stomach stapled

28. justin bieber caught the clap from miley cyrus

29. wade boggs is a devout latter day saint

30. zach morris struggles with halitosis

31. paul mccartney has mature cataracts

32. bono wears blood diamonds

33. mark wahlberg has lupus

34. stevie wonder can dunk a basketball

35. heath ledger was allergic to wheat

23 celebrity rumors

1. marilyn manson auditioned for the karate kid

2. bill gates bought out the hobby lobby

3. john travolta never proved anybody wrong

4. eric clapton dated nancy kerrigan

5. ryan gosling wears prosthetic testicles

6. murphy brown bruised madonna in a catfight

7. wolf blitzer knows how to handstand

8. linsey lohan has a fred flinstone fetish

9. alicia keys scored a 1600 on her SATs

10. johnny depp runs a kangroo farm

11. gene hackman is a born-again christian

12. tom brokaw is three-quarters choctaw

13. dolly parton maintains a cactus garden

14. carson dailey is addicted to glue sniffing

15. al bundy and ted bundy are distant relatives

16. joaquin phoenix has never been to arizona

17. sean penn suffers with arthritis & bone spurs

18. macaulay culkin is a habitual bedwetter

19. gwen stefani delivered little caesars pizzas

20. owen wilson conquered juvenile diabetes

21. tom brady's twin sister is morbidly obese

22. cameron diaz had a baby with bo jackson

23. tom cruises’ wedding was b.y.o.b.

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SLAB 6 is now available, featuring work from Thomas Patrick Levy, Heather Palmer, Brett Gallagher, Paul Siegell, Karla Linn Merrifield, Sally Derringer, Richard Chiem, myself, and several others. Thanks to Paul Cunningham & co. for putting it together.

I currently have three surplus copies in my possession.

Be one of the first three to comment here & score one of these.

new decomP today folks: Lisa Marie Basile, Tyson Bley, Barbara Crooker, Aaron Delehanty, Sarah Rose Etter, Annie Hartnett, Mikko Harvey, Dennis Mahagin, Ken Poyner, Becca Rosenthal, Seth Seppala, Ray Shea, Charles Shields, Matthew Sinex, Ben Tanzer, M. Thompson, Gerald Yelle, and watashi mo. my story is about brothers and things. thanks to Jason Jordan & his crew for including it.

read the whole issues here & while you’re at it check out their kickstarter campaign & consider giving some support. 25 days left!

i have a poem up at LEVELER. i like LEVELER because the editors analyze the poems they publish, and they post this analysis with the poems. i think this is useful.

"smokey the bear withdrawals from nicotine" (ink on strathmore, 2011)

'i am 'i don't know what i am' and you are afraid of me and so am i' by tao lin